TENNESSEE MISSION

2010-06-25T22:12:00.000-05:00

Already God has changed me so much. Until coming here, I never realized how selfish I have been. I have taken so much for granted: a mom and dad who love me, care for me, my own room when some of these kids don't have a room, let alone a bed, access to food whenever I am hungry, these kids are so excited when we give them these school lunches that our schools at home would never feed us, because it is the only meal they may get for the day, wardrobe variety when I see kids come in the same outfit I took them home in yesterday. There is a war going on and we are in the middle of it!
There are stories from here that I swore I would never tell my parents, ever tell my friends, or my church. The stories of the run-ins with not so good people, the stories of the bad things here, though I have seen so much good, we take for granted the ability to talk about God, these kids are thirsty to hear about him, they love bible club. In 2002, they had a bible club going, the pastor we work with went out and this little girl ran up to him. She told him there had been a shooting at one of the bible sites. The children had been shot, in fact five of them. The pastor was brought directly to the trauma room, where it literally looked like a warzone. Blood and gurneys were scattered, and then there were the children. A twelve year old girl motioned for the pastor to come over, "What will I say Lord?" Pastor Tim thought, but he went. The girl had been shot through and through on her arm, it was all bandaged up, of all things she started talking about the block party they had had the night before. She then pointed at the salvation bracelet she had made at it. As it was covered in blood, she preceeded to tell him, "I accepted Jesus into my heart last night." A three year old died that day. The reason these children got shot, there is none.
The kids here are forgotten, no one cares, and nobody loves. But there is someone, the one who never has forgotten about them, who cares, and loves them, God. Do we take the many oppurtunities God gives to share about him? There was at a bible camp a big puppet show going on, people came to watch, even the gang bangers, and they were loving it. Then one of them said, "I hope you get to them before we do." I pray we do.
The pastor was telling me that a few years ago, there was a young teenage girl named Lynn, she always wanted to come to bible camp, but was always quiet and did not associate much with the other kids. She kept coming for over a year, one day she moved and Pastor Tim didn't see her. A few months later a girl came up to pastor upset saying, "Did you hear about Lynn?" "No" he said. She preceeded to tell him, how Lynn had been killed by her own father.
I come in contact with so many kids all day, the kids I see from the center we live behind, and the kids at my site. I want to be able to talk to all of them, and share God's love with each and every one of them, so they know that there is some one who did not forget them, that some one saved them, and that some one loves them, God. But I do not get to talk to all of them, the ones that I do I pray that I can be God's hands and feet.
I am so blessed that God has given me this oppurtunity to come here, I have a lot of kids at my site and it breaks my heart to see the conditions that they live in, I pick them up and some of them are already waiting for me on their porch. A smile crosses their face as I tell them let's go, but behind them a broken house, windows shattered and covered with sheets, garbage and glass just lying around, the smell of drugs so strong it makes my stomach turn, and they live in it. Yet here they smiling at me with a dirty face, because their mother didn't take the time or attention to wash it. Empty stomachs because there is just not food in their pantries, and there they are, "Ms. Jessi, let's go." Some of them don't smile, their faces are emotionless, and they have no innocence about them. These are the children that I remind every day that I love them, God loves them, and they are beautiful, as God made them. They thrive to hear this. Sometimes I get an I love you back like they had never said it before. When I see the change in that child from greeting me and going about Bible club with a blank expression, no emotion, to smiling and laughing, that, that is beautiful. Then it comes time to take them home and I ask them if they are ready to go, some just get up and wait for me and their smile is gone. Some cry and say, "Ms. Jessi I don't want to go." and I have to take them back, back to their homes where some of them have told me what happens and the others I don't even know. But the things that I do know, like why little Christina clings to me the entire time and when any guy comes by she buries her face into me, why Ruby comes with markings on her because, "when mommy gets mad she hurts me." I have to take them back, when they are begging me not to. As I reach little Rashad's door and he slams his head on the cement because he doesn't want me to leave him there, and I can't do anything about it, but tell them see you tomorrow. And I don't even know if I will see them tomorrow. There is a war going on and we are in the middle of it. Who will fight to tell these children that someone never forgot them or forsook them, but the one who created them and breathed the breath of life in them, loves them? Who will tell these children in Memphis, Tennessee? Who will tell the children in your own hometowns? who will do as God says, "If you serve me, you will follow me"? Despite the risks who will follow? FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT. We have already defeated Satan, Satan can't win, pray that we can get to these children before they do.

2010-06-23T20:49:00.000-05:00

Praise God, today I started off the morning by giving my team that bible verse from Colossians 3:23. They really took it to heart, though it was hot the team had more energy with the kids today, and God blessed us by doubling the amount of kids that we had. For my community service project today I did street clean up where I also had a team helping us. I reminded them though it is not fun picking up trash, God picks up the trash in our lives everyday including us, so we can go and pick up a few pieces of other people's trash. Not once did I hear a complaint from them when usually other teams that I have had do complain. When you are willing to show the kids really can see the love of God, tonight I had a little boy named Jacob, who I was watching at the church for a while, while his mom was at a bible study. He is one of the kids that has really been placed on my heart these past few weeks, and every time I see him I try to show him love that he doesn't necessarily receive from his mom. I was playing magnetic letters with him and trying to teach him the different letters, despite my best efforts he just called all of them A's. I turned around for a few minutes to work on something and he started saying "lala". I did not respond, so he tugged on my pants and yelled "lala" at me. I realized he was refering to me, and that is what he decided to call me the rest of the night. When his mom came to pick him up, I asked her about it and she said it was her name. When giving Jacob back to her, he started to scream because he wanted to stay with me, and it just reminded me that if you take the time and have the willingness to show them that they can see God's love.

Been a while...but God is working

2010-06-23T08:52:00.002-05:00

Hey everyone, sorry I haven't posted in so long, but it has been a pretty crazy couple of weeks. The temperatures have been as high as 105 and no lower than 100. I have definitely learned to drink a lot of water. Because last week I had a bad fever, which made it really hard for me to find the energy to get done what I needed to, but that morning in my quiet time I read the verse where God tells us not to complain, I went into prayer with that thought. I prayed to God that he would give me energy and would speak through me as I went through bible camp and community projects. God definitely answered my prayer when he spoke through me and led a little girl, Miriam, to Him. We have been staying really busy, and even busier now that my own site has opened up, that me and my partner are in charge of. Like I said it is really hot, and while the teams that come to help us have a good heart, they sometimes seem to lose their focus on why they are here, they more or less focus on how hot or tiring that it is, or how they dont want to sing silly songs with the kids, when really these kids are outside in this all day because it is a better place than their homes where there is no one to share God's love with them or sing silly songs with them. Pray that they remember what Paul said, "In everything you do, do enthusiastically, as you are working for the Lord and not for men," Colossians 3:23. Also pray for the community, there have been a few run-ins. Due to rising temperatures, tempers are also rising as we have had few issues this week. I am ready and excited to come home, but I am even more excited to be here serving the Lord and following his will for my life.

They are lost and they are dying and we have to do something about it

2010-06-13T15:50:00.000-05:00

In James 4:13-14 it says you are a mist for a little time and then vanishes, I do not know anything about tomorrow what it may bring but God knows. Tomorrow is the start of another week, I am only here for a mist of time. Seize the day, because tomorrow could be too late for some of the people I come across. I pray that I will take the oppurtunity to talk to these people, and God can push me aside and speak through me. The Christian life is about sacrifice, not pleasure not comfort. While we are sitting at home chilling watching television. God is hearing the cries of the hurting. Being here is not comfortable, not easy, and sometimes it is not fun. I could have stayed home, not come here into a heat index of 105 times humidity. That's the mindset of too many, people are hurting all around us, and our churches are the greatest resource in the country, the government will never solve the problems. The answers lie within the vaults of the church. But too often we are not God reliant, but self-reliant, which only leads to self-indulgence. "God I cry out to you, we want you, not to die to our own but to you. God, I need you now, this is all that I am. Now with my dirty hands I give you everything, everything that I am. I need you, they need you."

Day 3

2010-06-10T21:36:00.001-05:00

I wanna praise God today because he answered my prayer and we walked the extra mile. Matthew 9:35-36 says the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. That verse really stuck out for me today, because we are all getting really exhausted as the days go on, but these kids still need us as much as they did the first day. The numbers at our site alone went from 46 to 58 because we went the extra mile. Bringing the total for all the sites up to 286, so far. I wanted to attach this picture of one of my site kids Kevian. It has really been placed on my heart to pray for him, it is really sad when a child feels more comfortable with a stranger such as me than with his own mom. Please pray that God will give us the strength and the energy as we close out the week and make an impact on these kids. Love you all.

Day 2

2010-06-09T23:36:00.000-05:00

They just need someone to love on them. We get used to hearing I love you, we find it almost offensive when our parents or close friends don't say it, but these kids are shocked when we do say it. They will pick their own scabs just to get enough attention for a band-aid. We walk miles to pick up kids to bring to our site, so many kids want to come, because they feel safe and loved. I wish we could walk more but we don't have the time. There is no hapiness or light in these children and their expressions are blank until you say, "I love you," and then you see a smile on their face that you haven't seen before on them. How much more should we be thankful for the people in our daily lives that do love us. Please pray that we have the energy and time to walk an extra mile to reach more kids, and show them that there is someone who loves them more than anyone else and it is God.

Day 1

2010-06-09T08:57:00.001-05:00

Today, I truly learned how much I take for granted, such as three meals-a-day, a warm shower, and the ability to walk down my street without glass and other things lying all over. We are going to be staying really busy everyday. I serve as a staff team member, each week we will be hosting different youth teams. In the mornings, we serve them breakfast, and then eat breakfast ourselves. Following that, we, the team staff each take our team and have a meeting. After this, we each go to a site and then walk different streets picking up kids. Once we get back to the site, we do a bible study, a sport, and crafts with the kids. Then some kids stay for lunch, most of them hadn't eaten anything since the weekend. The kids come for different reasons some come because they feel safe, and others just have no where else to go. Please pray that the hearts of these children, their parents, and their families can be opened. Pray that through our community service time that the community can see something different. Pray also that through the events that all the kids, even the entire community, can come to know Christ's love. God bless.

Goodbye Utah, Hello Tennesee

2010-06-06T22:55:00.001-05:00

Hey everyone,
8 more hours and I am off to Tennessee. I am nervous but at the same time I can't wait. I know this is what God has been calling me to do, so I am confident that it will go great. Please keep me in your prayers that I can be the witness that God wants me to be, that I can seize the many oppurtunities that he gives me to share of him and from that people can come to know who he is.

You can follow me through this blog, I will try to post several times a week.
God bless

Jessi